September 7, 2015

#PitMad Pitch Practice—With Critiques from Touchstone Editing!

It may be a holiday (in the US, at least), but time doesn't stop for querying writers! The Twitter pitch party #PitMad is happening once again this Thursday (September 10th), and since people have found it useful in the past, I'm happy to open up my blog for everyone to receive feedback on & perfect their pitches.

Plus, I have a special surprise to help you prepare:

The absolutely lovely ladies at Touchstone Editing have offered to critique pitches in the comments on this post! Learn a bit more about Jennifer and Anya here, and please read these guidelines before posting: 
  • #PitMad is a Twitter pitch party, so your pitch needs to be 140-characters max, including the hashtag. 
  • Jennifer and Anya will be dropping in and out until Tuesday night to help you with your pitches.
    • Recommended: Show your gratitude (and benefit from their wisdom) by following them on Twitter!
  • Constructive comments on each others' pitches are encouraged! The whole point is to help everyone have the best chance possible on Thursday to catch that agent or editor eye.
  • Destructive comments will be removed at my discretion.
    • "I don't like XYZ about your pitch, and here's how to make it better" = good. "You're an idiot" or "How stupid would you have to be to think this is a good pitch?" = bad. Please be polite, as everyone has been to date (because you're all awesome)!
    • If I have to remove one of your comments on someone else's pitch, I may also remove your pitch if you posted one. Please don't make me police your comments.
  • Questions? Feel free to ask, and otherwise good luck everyone!

97 comments :

  1. 17 year-old pilot meets the love of her life, but then she doesn’t remember him. She might lose more than just love. #PitMad #YA #TT #R

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    1. Hi Roxanne. The first bit is good, but starting with "but" it's just so vague. Why doesn't she remember him? And why does not remembering him mean that she would lose anything other than him?

      You could also save characters by saying: "17yo pilot forgets the love of her life..." or similar. And, remember that you can skip #YA and #R because your pitch tells us her age & that it's about love.

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    2. Thank you Anya. This is great feedback. You rock for doing these! This is exactly the help I needed before #PitMad

      Willow doesn’t know she can be in 2 places at once. She’s losing memories at home and with a fated love on the other side. #PitMad #YA #TTR

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    3. Oooh, okay, this is already so much more intriguing! I know it's tough with pitches so short, but what's missing still is stakes. So what that she's losing memories? What is the big bad in your book—does she have to choose between places or die in both? Or is she choosing between home and true love? Or is she trying to solve a murder but missing memories means she's next to be killed?

      I'm guessing it's not the last, but do you see how many places this can go? We want to have a stronger sense of which one your story is.

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    4. So helpful. Thank you doesn't quite cover it.

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  2. History of Feminism and Women's Rights for Teenagers. Nonfiction YA now at 34K words

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    1. When you say "now at 34K," Giora, you mean that's the finished word count, is that right? Remember that #PitMad (and most pitch events) is for completed manuscripts :-)

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  3. When Cindy's boyfriend reveals he's gotten another girl pregnant, she's forced to confront her worst fear: the end of true love #PitMad #NA

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    1. Hi Cindy, I like the gist of this (girl's boyfriend cheats on her, she's devastated), but I think we need to understand the stakes more. When you say he's gotten "another" girl pregnant -- does this mean Cindy is also pregnant at the same time? Or just that he's cheated on her? If the latter, couldn't she just break up with him? (Why do we need a whole book about this?)

      Tell us more about what makes your story unique, and if possible avoid the superlatives (her "worst" fear, the end of "true love" -- unless you're going for a fairytale vibe, in which case keep it).

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    2. Thank you for the points, these are so hard! Is this better? He takes her innocence, captures her heart, shatters it, only to return, he's the boy next door, her best friend & destiny. #Pitmad #NA

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    3. I know, fitting it into 140 characters makes it SO hard.

      Hmm, let's see. Wait, the pregnancy bit is gone altogether now, so was it not central to the plot? I'm curious about him returning -- does this mean he's crawling back to her? What's the focus of the story? Is it her trying to decide if she can love someone who cheated on her? Or what?

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    4. It is central but having a hard time :) He is supposed to marry her but cheats and gets another girl pregnant. He marries her she watches from her window, she can't move on, but wants to/needs to. Their paths cross they are next door neighbors & their parents are friends. He returns again and again. No matter what life throws in their path they are drawn back together. I think that kind of sums it up.

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    5. Ah, okay, interesting. I didn't get that from the pitch, so we definitely need to work on it.

      Maybe something more like... "Cindy is crushed when her fiance leaves her for another woman. She tries to move on, but fate/circumstance keep drawing them back together." (but shorter, obviously) -- something to that effect?

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    6. This would fit - Crushed when her fiance leaves her for another. She tries to move on, but fate/circumstance keep pulling them back together. #pitmad #NA

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    7. Tough one, ladies. I like this part (slight changes): Crushed when her fiancé spurns her for another, Cindy struggles to move on. (You could also say "her fiancé marries another"—because ouch!)

      But the last bit still strikes me as too vague. I can see her being pulled back to him, but why would he care after he'd chosen another woman? Or, is it that he did the honorable thing (per your comments above) and now has regrets?

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    8. Yes, he did honorable thing and he never truly got over his first love just like she never got over it. They are each others destiny. It's so hard to do this, thank you ladies for helping me!

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    9. How about something like:

      Her fiancé impregnates another & does the honorable thing. Cindy tries to move on, but life keeps tugging their hearts back together #Pitmad


      Jennifer—second opinion?

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    10. He captured her heart, betrayed her in most unthinkable way, he is her destiny and she can't let go #pitmad #NA That work?

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    11. Anya's version is really solid. Gives us a much better understanding of the situation without resorting to cliches like destiny:

      Her fiancé impregnates another & does the honorable thing. Cindy tries to move on, but life keeps tugging their hearts back together #Pitmad

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    12. Can I make a small suggestion? I can see Cindy wants to make a point about them being destined for each other so how about:

      Her fiancé impregnates another & does the honorable thing. Cindy tries to move on, but fate keeps tugging their hearts back together #Pitmad

      Good luck Cindy x

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    13. Thank you everyone for all your help with this! You are all awesome!

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    14. Hope it's okay to post this, thought of maybe another way to word this since can't repeat. When her only true love got another girl pregnant and left her, she thought it was over, when he returns she is caught in between right/wrong. #PitMad #NA

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    15. Hi Cindy—It's definitely smart to have a couple different versions! But I think this one leaves things a bit too vague, specifically in terms of his relationship status when he "returns."

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  4. Romance addict & would-be writer inherits enchanted old bookstore where historical novel hero comes to life! TheBookBoyfriend #PitMad #R #PR

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    1. Jeanna, I love how much detail you've packed in here! You had me at "inherits enchanted old bookstore" -- but it's unclear to me whether the "would-be writer" part is important. I think I understand that the "romance addict" part is relevant to the hero coming to life -- this gives me the impression he'll be the love interest, or at least that's what she'll hope -- but does the writer part mean that it's HER historical novel? (Is that why it comes to life? Presumably not every book in the enchanted bookstore comes to life...)

      I don't think you need "TheBookBoyfriend" in there -- we get that from the rest of it, and you could use those characters to give us a teeny bit more in your pitch. But generally I think this is really strong, and I'm definitely intrigued!

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    2. Hi Jennifer!

      Thank you so much. The would be writer is kind of important as the plot unfolds around the heroine's ability to finish the story and recreate the magic that brings the hero to life. As you've correctly identified, not all the books in the store are magical but the store itself is. She finds the book hidden in the store and yes the hero is the love interest but she's alarmed by the sight of him (in full battle armour!) at first, rather than enamoured.

      The general tone I'm hoping for is a light-hearted modern day fairytale (with historical elements from the hero's storyline). Kind of a reverse Mannequin. It's sooooo hard to get all this across in 140 characters!!!

      I know I used up valuable space with The Book Boyfriend part and it's something I need to stop doing on Twitter but I'm addicted to the title as much as the story itself!

      Thank you again x

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    3. Does this work better?

      Romance addict inherits enchanted old bookstore where historical novel hero comes to life! Can she write their HEA? #PitMad #R #PR

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    4. Jeanna I agree that this sounds like a great premise! Small changes:

      Romance addict & would-be author inherits an enchanted old bookstore. When a historical novel hero comes to life...[What?]! #PitMad #R #PR

      You could get rid of "would-be author" if the "what" includes her finishing her own story, but this way you have a chance to introduce stakes. Once he's there, is the issue that she has to hide him? Get him back to his own time? You could also change "historical novel hero" to "fictional hero." While it's important to your story because there are historical elements as you mentioned, I'm not convinced yet that it's important to your pitch.

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    5. Ah, you beat me to it! Okay, take 2:

      Romance addict inherits enchanted bookstore where fictional hero comes to life! Can she write their HEA [before..?]? #PitMad #R #PR

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    6. Hi Anya!

      Did I tell you, you ladies rock?

      Just to clarify, the "before" you added is to introduce the conflict, right?

      Thanks again x

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    7. Yep, Jeanna that's the spot to add stakes!

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    8. Ok I think I got it this time. Just hope it's 140 of those pesky little characters!

      Romance addict inherits enchanted old bookstore where fictional hero comes 2 life! Can SHE write their HEA or lose him 4ever? #PitMad #R #PR

      I have a quick question regarding hashtags: I added #PR as you can see but do you think it's necessary considering the magical aspect? Ty again x

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    9. Personally, I think the PR hashtag isn't necessary. I can tell it's a paranormal romance from the pitch (which is really what you want). I do like this one better! Small suggestions:

      Romance addict inherits enchanted bookstore where fictional hero comes to life! Can SHE write them a HEA before losing him 4ever? #PitMad #R

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    10. Yes that is better, thank you! Why is this so darn difficult?

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    11. Agreed that the hashtag isn't necessary, but I don't love the "SHE" and the "4ever" -- I know, I know, 140-char limit, but it would still throw me. How about:

      Romance addict inherits enchanted bookstore where fictional hero comes to life! Can she write her own HEA before losing him? #PitMad #R

      (This of course makes me want to know why she would lose him -- would he run away? go back into his book? vanish forever? -- but I suspect that the suspense is a good thing, it means I'd want to read more!)

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    12. I considered saying her own HEA but I'm worried it makes her sound selfish!

      Would "Can she write A HEA before losing him?" sound better?

      The whole point of a HEA is that it's happy for both characters right, so is the pronoun necessary?

      Sorry I have another question. I read on Brenda Drake's blog that Twitter doesn't usually allow repeat Tweets. Is it best therefore to have a TOTALLY different pitch to this one ready to go or will just tweaking it suffice. (I have everything crossed you go with tweaking but I'm working on a separate pitch just in case)!

      Thanks again xx

      Delete
    13. Weighing in here for a sec.. I prefer "their HEA" or "them a HEA" b/c it *is* about both characters in romance!

      Also Jeanna, Twitter will count a tweet where you move the hashtag to a different place (beginning/end) as a different tweet, so little changes should work! Also, I think Twitter limits it to the same tweet once an hour or something like that? So you shouldn't need too many variations.

      Delete
    14. Nah, tweaking should be fine, I think.

      As for the HEA... I don't think it's implied that it would be *her* HEA (what if she's just being nice and writing one for him?), and I think if it's romance, we (the reader) want it to be hers (our protagonist) -- so to me, specifying "her own HEA" seems like a good thing, not a bad thing.

      But honestly, I think it's really strong, so I think whichever way you go will be great. :)

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    15. I'll probably use both versions of the their/a HEA then and see which one works best. (I've everything crossed again)!

      Jennifer and Anya,I would like to thank you both so much for all your advice. It really has been invaluable and I feel very confident in my ability to pitch my story now. Thank you also to Aria for providing the platform.

      Good luck to everyone else. I'm very impressed with the diversity of stories and imagination on display.

      Thanks again and kind regards,
      Jeanna x

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    16. You are very welcome! Best of luck with your pitching!!

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    17. Seconded! Good luck, Jeanna (and everyone!) :)

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  5. When Death gives Sara an assignment, the smart thing to do is finish it. Otherwise, she might be finished herself. #PitMad #A

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    1. I'm no expert, but I'm definitely intrigued by your pitch!
      I know it's super hard to give details in 140 characters, but I'd love to get a sense of what the "assignment" is.

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    2. Spot on, Daniel! Chris, I am definitely intrigued by Death giving Sara an assignment, but I want to know who she is for this to matter, and what the assignment is as Daniel says. If it's knitting a sweater, I'm pretty sure she can figure it out.

      I imagine Death is actually giving her an ultimatum, e.g. harvest 10 souls or spend eternity in hell. Or, kill her son to save her own life. I could come up with tons of these, which is why we need specificity in pitches!

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    3. I am intrigued too! Good luck to you!

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  6. After failing to achieve her dreams, 23 y/o Emily must return to her hometown and face all the people and things she left behind #PitMad #WF

    Thank you guys SO MUCH for doing this! :)

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    1. Hi Daniel. You caught this yourself in Chris' pitch—we need specifics! What dreams? Why does it matter that she left people behind? Did she walk all over them? Tell the whole town to go to hell? Coming home as a "failure" is definitely tough, but what makes it especially hard for Emily?

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    2. I would echo what Anya said, but also, it caught my attention that she's only 23. Couldn't she still achieve said dreams? Is there someone in particular she's afraid to let down (a parent? a former lover?) or is it a really tiny town and she was a big fish in a small pond or something? I suspect you could delete the mention of her age, unless it's critical to the story.

      Delete
  7. When 10 boys and a girl visit Selena in Mexico, surprises and emotional turmoil make it difficult to choose the true love. #pitmad #YA

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    1. Giora, I have so many questions here: why is 10 boys and 1 girl significant? Is this a school field trip or something? And who is Selena, that 11 people would travel to visit her? Is she the same age? Is it HER true love we're interested in, or the boys', or the one girl? Where are the 11 kids coming from? Are they also somewhere in Mexico, or are they traveling from the US or elsewhere?

      And as for "surprises and emotional turmoil" -- give us specifics. What kind of surprises? Is the emotional turmoil a love triangle? A love quadrilateral? Etc.

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    2. I can't fit all the information in 140 letters, but here are the answers: 17-year-old Selena from Mexico wants to find true love. She makes it known, and 10 boys and 1 girl from eight countries (two from the U.S.) visit hr with the hope that she will pick one of them. No love triangle, just emotional turmoil because she is unable to make a choice.
      I wish I could convey all this information in 140 letters.

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    3. Hi again, Jennifer. I see that you are from San Francisco. The 1 girl visiting Selena is Debbie, an American teenage girl from San Francisco. One chapter of the novel is set in San Francisco when Selena travels with Debbie to your city.

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    4. Why would 11 people travel to win her love? Is she a millionaire? Has she bewitched them? Is this part of a TV show, like The Bachelor?

      It seems that Selena is our protagonist, correct? So, what are the stakes for her? Sure, we know she wants to find true love, but so what if she doesn't? (why do we want her to succeed? she's only 17, so what if she doesn't find true love from those 11 people? etc.)

      Delete
  8. Crazy on You is a #NA version of Bridget Jones' Diary set in the South

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    1. Hi Nicole, I would avoid comparing your book to BJD, because you want to emphasize what makes your book unique, not what makes it something we've already read. Who are your characters? Why is the setting in the South relevant? (Do you mean the US South or elsewhere?) What are the stakes?

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    2. Thanks! I never thought the comparison would be a bad thing; so many articles say comparing it oftentimes helps publishers/agents.

      Yes, I do mean the US South. Back to the drawing board!

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    3. What about this:

      Diane's past may hav been disappointing but her future is anything but which proves too much for the cop she has her heart set on

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    4. Hi Nicole—Comp titles can be great in a query, but you definitely don't want it to be the primary thing we know in a pitch (unless it's a retelling).

      What was disappointing about Diane's past? What's happening in the future? And why would a cop have difficulty with her having a great future? What exactly is keeping them apart if this is about the two of them? If it's like Bridget Jones' Diary, I'm assuming there's a love triangle?

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    5. Thank you both for the input! I've been struggling with this for a while now. My manuscript doesn't seem to fit in one particular genre so I'm not sure which one to emphasize.

      My book is humorous look at a woman's journey when she is confronted with the father who abandoned her before she was born. It has more internal conflict than external; I'm afraid there isn't a market for it yet.

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    6. Nicole, you can consider that women's fiction or mainstream fiction. If it's truly predominately internal, with little/no external plot, then it would be literary fiction.

      But your description just now is completely different from your pitches above (and it sounds more interesting!), so focus on that—a woman's turbulent relationship with the man who abandoned her, and the conflict that happens when he comes back into her life.

      Delete
  9. #YA #SFF Stowaway prince & pirate girl must get along if they’re to find the vicious Brethren & learn why people are vanishing

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    1. I love this premise. Very intriguing. Don't forget #PitMad hashtag as part of the pitch.

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    2. I like it! It's pretty strong already. A slight tweak I might make is to explain why they need to work together on this, but otherwise, very solid pitch.

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  10. 16 yo Lainey Styles has three goals: Nails the SATs, win the race for valedictorian, and...steal a dangerous magical book? #pitmad #YA #PN

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    1. This isn't at all helpful, but I like this pitch as is. It would definitely have caught my eye.

      The one thing I would recommend is to work on an alternate, because some people may react negatively to seeing the question mark (when you're skimming, every little thing counts). Also, giving us a different look, with a sense of why she would need to steal the book could work in your favor, to hit multiple people's tastes.

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    2. I agree with Anya: very strong pitch. If you do come up with an alternate, one way you could cut words is to change it to "be valedictorian" rather than "win the race for" -- just a suggestion!

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    3. I like this a lot too. It gives us a good idea of what your MC is like & makes me wonder what this magical book is & why it's so dangerous. My only suggestion is to add the stakes. Lainey must steal a dangerous magical book or ...[this bad thing will happen]

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  11. Hello everyone, I would appreciate any feedback on this, thanks!

    Zaak died before his time. 80yrs of things that won't ever happen will keep him in Purgatory. He's expected to help fix the balance #PitMad

    Zaak died 80yrs before his time. The Universal Balance is lost. He’ll follow a man with a plan & a questionable agenda to fix it #YA #Pitmad

    Zaak is dead. The Universal balance is lost & all that was meant to be impossible in the Great Design, is happening everywhere. #YA #PitMad


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    1. What's interesting here is that all three of these give me a different impression of what kind of book we're discussing. I think you're on the right track with leaving out the "80ys" part, because that doesn't seem integral to the story. The purgatory part seems important to me, because it lets us know immediately that he's dead and also that he's still our protagonist. How about something like...

      Zaak's untimely death leaves him in Purgatory, forced to rebalance the Universe to set it back on course.

      Or something like that?

      Delete
    2. It was bound to happen at some point, but I disagree with Jennifer :-)

      I think it's important to know that he died back in time before he ever lived (that is what you meant, right?). But if so, I'd amp it up even more and say "Zaak died 70 years before his birth."

      Then you'd want to juxtapose the Great Design going kablooey with whatever he has to manage to do to fix things.

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    3. Ohh, I thought it meant that he'd died as a teenager but was meant to live another 80 years. "before his time" meaning before he was meant to die rather than, literally, before his own birth.

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  12. Hello Jennifer and Anya, thank you both for your time.

    What I am trying to say here is that Zaak was destined to live until very advance age but because the Angel of death makes a mistake he dies at 18. All the events that he was suppose to live in those years will never happen, kids, marriage etc, that is what breaks the balance. But it seems that the number is confusing.

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    Replies
    1. Okay then, how about something like:

      When Death takes Zaak before his time, the Great Design implodes, leaving Zaak trapped in purgatory. [Now Zaak must...] or [To ___, Zaak must]

      (You can also say "stuck" instead of "trapped" and if absolutely necessary use "b4" to save characters.)

      Delete
  13. Young auditor and older widow get more than they bargained for during the annual audit. They made it an annual audit affair. #PitMad #E

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    1. What's the conflict here? There's more plot to the story beyond just their affair, right? Give us more detail, what are the stakes?

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    2. Also, try to avoid phrases like "more than they bargained for"—it's a lot of characters that don't really tell us anything.

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    3. She's 50 he's 25, he shows up one year needing to end the affair because he got engaged. She likes the hidden affair with a young man she has no future with because it makes her feel like she's not replacing her husband.

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    4. Okay, so he wants to end it but she refuses. Then what? Does his fiance find out? Does the widow try to get revenge?

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    5. She actually doesn't refuse to end it. Most of the story revolves around him agonizing over telling her, and flashbacks of their time together. In the end she lets him off the hook easy (the do love each other) knowing it would always come to this. It's just a simple, sweet love story between two unlikely people. She's actually a 'lovemaking' mentor to him. They keep their secret. The best love stories are those untold.

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  14. You guys are rockstars!

    I have several so far, but I'm uncertain about this one. I worry that maybe the logic leaps between the sentences are more confusing than intriguing?

    Energy manipulation: an unrecognized science. She lies to be taken seriously. He says to hell with it, does whatever he wants. #PitMad #SFF

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    1. Rockstar here, reporting for duty!

      I'm okay with leaps between sentences, generally, but I don't understand the first sentence at all -- or how it relates to the characters. I like "she lies to be taken seriously" but is that related to working in the sciences? What's the relationship between them? What's the conflict in the story, what are the stakes?

      Delete
    2. That's basically what I was afraid of. I'm trying to condense the idea that the MC doesn't consider her magic to be magic, in the book. To her, it's science: manipulating energy still follows all the rules of physics. But it's not a scientific discipline--it's not recognized as science, and would be dismissed as pseudo-science if the details were widely discussed.

      I have other pitches, but I wanted one to get that idea across without having to sacrifice character or avoid hinting at stakes (it's really just a hint that requires a leap--too many leaps in one pitch, probably).

      Delete
    3. So, is the conflict that she tries to hide her use of the magic, while someone else does so unabashedly? Or is it that she's trying to get the science recognized by the world at large, but they...threaten her career?

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  15. One summer in Hawaii, teen girl must battle to stay alive after she finds forbidden love and uncovers mysterious ancient legend

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    1. Is her struggle to stay alive because of the forbidden love (i.e., her family or her love's family will kill her/them?) or because of the ancient legend? Does she uncover the legend because of the forbidden love, or are they unrelated? (Right now, it seems like they're linked.)

      I think you can safely remove "one summer in Hawaii" altogether, unless the timing/setting are integral to the story... in which case you could do something like:

      Her life is on the line when [Tina] finds forbidden love and a mysterious ancient legend in Hawaii. #YA #pitmad

      (don't forget the #pitmad and #YA hashtags -- the YA will let us know up front that she's a teen, so you won't need to say that)

      Delete
    2. Jennifer, thank you so much!

      I have other pitches too, can you see which would be the strongest, or any comments/suggestions?

      A painting uncovers Lacie should be dead. She must decipher ancient legend to save her life. Again #pitmad #YA

      Teen girl has second shot at life after mysterious boy kisses her back to existence. Is the second kiss fatal? #pitmad #YA

      One kiss causes a curse. Second kiss causes confusion. Dealing with your boyfriends dead mom-Fatal. #pitmad #ya

      Two teen star-crossed lovers are embedded in ancient legend, can they escape summer alive- with their hearts still intact? #pitmad #ya

      A kiss from her first love causes a curse & interferes with her destiny. Whose kiss can save her life. Again. #pitmad #ya

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    3. This one intrigues me the most:

      Teen girl has second shot at life after mysterious boy kisses her back to existence. Is the second kiss fatal? #pitmad #YA

      Is the gist that she dies, then he kisses her and she's brought back to life and falls in love with him, but she can't kiss him again because then she'll be re-dead? That's what I'm getting from it. I might revise it slightly:

      Lacie gets second shot at life after mysterious boy kisses her back to existence. But will the second kiss be fatal? #pitmad #YA

      Or is it that his first kiss killed her and his second brought her back to life?

      Delete
    4. As I mentioned for someone else, you may also want to work on an alternate without the question mark. It will also increase tension to make it a statement:

      Teen girl has second shot at life after mysterious boy kisses her back to existence. But her first love's second kiss is fatal. #pitmad #YA

      Delete
  16. Hello and thanks for doing this! I have a few pitches:

    Abandoned, Lost, and Afraid. Oh, and she has to save the world. Who wouldn’t want to be Jasper? #pitmad #A

    Jasper’s your average 18-year-old girl, aside from the uncontrollable supernatural powers. Or, say, the ability to save the world. #pitmad #A

    A power she can’t control. Friends she can’t protect. A mission to save mankind. What could possibly go wrong? #pitmad #A

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    1. Hi, Elyse. These are actually pretty solid, though my favorite would probably the third.

      I do want to ask because you're on the teen cusp, are you sure your book is Adult and not YA? And the other thing I'd suggest is specifying why exactly mankind/the world need saving and/or what her power is. The more specific the better—and you have plenty of characters leeway.

      Delete
    2. I actually like the second one best. Or at least, I like the "uncontrollable supernatural powers" aspect. What if we combined the second and third as something like:

      Jasper’s your average 18yo girl, aside from the uncontrollable supernatural powers. Or, say, a mission to protect her friends & save the world. #pitmad #NA

      Delete
  17. Power she can’t control. Friends she can’t protect. A mission to save mankind from ancient evil. What could possibly go wrong? #pitmad #NA

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